This causes frustration for all involved leaving the ADHD individual feeling like he or she is just not Good Enough!

There are no quick fixes to this problem however I do believe there is an answer.

Through many years of research, trying new methods and solutions on myself I found the following:

1. We take information in differently and process it differently.

2. We are interesting unique and passionate people.

3. When interested in a particular activity or topic we can submerge ourselves and come up with brilliant ideas.

4. We can be super creative.

5. We can achieve more than the average person when we are excited about a project and have someone to encourage us.

6. When given the proper guidance to channel our energy we can be the best employees or leaders to have on a team.

7. We are loyal to our friends and very hard working – to the point of being work-o-holics.

8. We thrive on variety which is great for various job types in the work place and make for interesting individuals.

9. We go the extra mile.

10. Kids are popular and loving – given a bit of encouragement achievement is beyond compare!

To assist with more research and making more products and workshops available I have created a Fine Jewellery Collection. 20% of the profits will fund the distribution of products on ADHD and ensure that workshops and talks can be made available in your town.

For more information on the jewellery please email

benelli.leila@gmail.com and I will forward you the catalogue of the first selection of the Brand New

Leila Benelli Collection -

Jewellery that says:

“You are Uniquely You!”

http://72.78.249.126/SakaalTimesBeta/20101029/4895838329567216554.htm

Leila Benelli has come up with a parental handbook that will help them cope with ADHD kids, says Tania Roy

Leila Benelli, who hails from South Africa, has come up with Help! My Child Is Driving Me Crazy!, a parental handbook that will help them cope with children having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). A mother of four boys, Leila’s knowledge comes from years of research and trial and error with herself and her sons. At age six, her eldest son was diagnosed with ADHD. Leila is passionate about giving parents the tools and methods so that they may make it easier for themselves and their children to live a normal happy fulfilling life.

In addition to her book, Leila has also produced a double audio CD set interviewing various experts in the field of ADHD as well as a DVD recorded at a talk show she hosted with a panel of experts in front of a live studio audience. Her years of experience working in the broadcasting industry and hosting and producing her own radio talkshow has helped her achieve these goals. Leila has also hosted various events for the empowerment of women. Excerpts from her interview:

Most infants / toddlers want attention. How do I know my child is suffering from ADHD?

There are no physical medical tests for ADHD, but the usual symptoms are inattention, impulsiveness and hyperactivity. As a mother, you tend to realise that your child is extra busy — nonstop. From the moment he wakes up till he sleeps, he is on the go. It is very difficult to say with certainty in very small children whether or not it is ADHD. It only really becomes exceedingly problematic when the child starts formal school. The teacher is generally the first person to pick up that the child has a concentration problem and will make a recommendation to the mother. I suggest allowing small kids to play as much as they can is a very necessary part of their development. Meanwhile, if the mother suspects ADHD, I suggest she gets as much information on it as possible and speak to moms who have effectively dealt with their own ADHD child.

Is ‘Help! My Child is Driving Me Crazy!’ your first book and where is it available?

Yes, this is my first published book. It is available for sale on my website www.myadhdchildren.com and will be available as a published Indian book soon.

How long were you engaged in this project?

The book is the result of six years of research where I have embarked on interviews, discussions, debates and talks with leading neurologists, psychiatrists, paediatricians, occupational therapists and coaches. The information gained was implemented, tried and tested at home with my son and in my own life. I learned what works for me and for my son and used those results to base the book on. The book was first published in May 2010 in South Africa.

Are you planning to write another book?

I am currently busy with a book on ‘Adult ADHD;, which focuses on solutions for adults living with ADHD and struggling to cope with everyday demands of life.

How do you help parents discover the beauty and strengths of their children and themselves?

This is a process of coaching where I work with the mother first and then the child. We structure house rules and I help them find the positive qualities within each family member through discussions. Once parents get to know their child’s good qualities and weaknesses, it becomes easier to find ways to encourage the child’s good behaviour.

Tell us about your talk shows and your contribution towards women empowerment.

I produced and presented my own morning radio show over a period of three years and focussed on issues such as women empowerment, entrepreneurship, spiritual and personal development, wealth creation and learning difficulties. I am constantly involved in community uplift programmes and help organisations to educate people on discovering different ways of looking at a challenge or a problem. I am currently working on various shows and will soon be doing a specific slot on a morning show to educate people on ADHD.

Have you watched the animation movie ‘Surf’s Up’?

I watched it several times with my children. Today I saw something which I thought might have been the inspiration behind that movie.

I went for my walk as I do in the morning and noticed a seal in the water. This seal appeared to be swimming around like most seals do, but then I noticed something that gave me so much joy.

This happy seal was swimming behind the waves and then suddenly to my surprise a big wave came and this little guy started swimming with the wave. It seemed like a surfer who waited for the perfect wave…and he did what every surfer does…

He chose his wave and there he went – joyfully enjoying the speed of the wave carrying him forward. He went through it under it and over it then made his return just before reaching the shore.

At first I thought it was just my imagination but after watching him for more than twenty minutes I realised he knew what he was doing. I am sure this is possibly where the art of surfing was born.

This was just amazing to witness and it reminded me to experience life in full appreciation we need to observe nature.

Freedom of being is what life is about. This seal was being all he could be in the water – he created his own fun and inspired me to go out and live my life 100% everyday in the knowing that I am supported by life.

Everything I need is provided for me – all I need to do is enjoy it, shine my light and be 100% me.

On my way down to the beach from my apartment I realised I am wearing my new trainers instead of the ones I always wear when going to the beach. “Never mind”, I thought, “I’ll just be careful not to get it wet”. So I walked thinking of the chaos in my head and how to get clarity for the work that I need to do today. I greeted a man standing next to his motorcycle mentioning what a perfect day it is for a ride to ‘Rooi-els’, which is a very popular route just outside Cape Town for bikers on a Sunday morning.

I took the path down onto the beach and just allowed my thoughts to start wondering, taking me on a wonderful journey of discovery. As I walked I suddenly became present to rubbish laying around on the beach and thought to myself, “those cleaners really need to come to the beach everyday not just once a week”.

My thoughts continued to wonder as I thought of the past week with my kids, things I said and did and how I could have done certain things differently. I wondered about my website problems, how to finish all my work before Friday, when to see my kids before my trip to India and how to calm my mind of the chaos and regain control.

While all these thoughts were whirling in my head, I suddenly spotted a beautiful shell on the sand. I picked it up and it reminded me of a dolphin. The dolphin is a very special creature to me. I always thought that should I ever be an animal I would want to be a dolphin. I see dolphins as very intelligent, beautiful creatures that love, heal and inspire people. Picking up that shell reminded me that clarity and calm is something I get when I am on the beach – one with the ocean. Just like the dolphin needs to return to the ocean after every jump into the fresh air I need to return to the ocean to revitalise my body mind and soul. That is what was missing this week, I did not fulfil on my own promise to walk on the beach every day. I skipped a day or two reasoning that I will go later when it is warmer for my boys to enjoy the beach.

I continued to walk towards the rocks where I sit and think things through, ask for help, express my gratitude and listen to the ocean. Many people were out on the beach enjoying the sunshine; I noticed how kids were playing and getting wet, moms taking the opportunity to soak up the sun and dogs playfully running free. How fortunate I am to enjoy all of this, I thought. So many shells and such beautiful colours and shapes and sadly so much rubbish lay between it all. I thought again about the council and the cleaners who were not there to clean the dirt up.

On reaching the rocks I noticed pieces of plastic paper and a disposable nappy, nestled between the rocks and torn to pieces by the waves. In a puddle between the rocks I noticed a big piece of plastic and thought I should pick this up and put it in a bin. I decided to put all the plastic pieces together and on my way back I’ll pick it up and throw it in a bin nearby.
I made my way further to the front part of the rocks – close to where the waves break. This is where I can hear the waves really loudly – it blocks out the rest of the world – here it is just me, my thoughts and the sea. I thanked the ocean for its beauty, sound and fresh air it provides and asked for insight into my work problems waiting at home. I asked for clarity with my finances and peace of mind for my trip to India.

I suddenly realised that money is serving me and I do not serve money. Pondering on that thought I realised that all the time whilst interacting with my kids the day before they were the example of how money serves them. They have no attachment to money and allow it to flow and be of service to them – for their enjoyment. I realised how I was clinging to the money and in that I am serving it. Again I repeated to myself that from now on I shall not serve money, it shall serve me. I thought this was a very interesting lesson – and will certainly take this with me and implement it in my life.

Again I realised how grateful I am to the ocean for teaching me so much and giving me so many lessons. I held out my arms, opened my hands, closed my eyes and listened to hear if there were more lessons I needed to get. I absorbed all the energy and asked for healing, love and light.

“Thank you for giving me so much every day. I am one with source and it is one with me”, as I repeated this to myself I got up and made my way down the rocks. The waves splashed up on the one side forcing me to follow the path back where I came up. I noticed the plastic bag as I walked down and realised again how the ocean is steering me back to go pick up that rubbish. As I picked up pieces of plastic I wondered where I would throw this in and then picked up the big piece of plastic from the puddle, to my surprise it was a big plastic bag, big enough to hold lots of rubbish.

I realised the ocean gave me this plastic bag saying; “if you are really grateful show me and return the favour”. So I took the bag and started picking up rubbish as I walked back to my apartment. I was smiling thinking how amazing it is that I noticed all the dirt on my way to the rocks and how the Universe supplied that plastic bag to me.

I realised that there is a lesson in all of this for me so I continued to collect each and every piece of dirt I saw, bottles, plastic bags, straws, disposable nappies and even condoms – all the man-made things we leave behind on the beach after enjoying its beauty. Instead of feeling angry at the people for leaving it behind, I thought about it and realised that in their careless behaviour was a lesson for me.

As I collected the dirt some people just looked at me, some just walked by and others actually picked up a piece of paper or garbage which I missed and threw it in my bag. A man came walking up to me asking what I was doing. I answered him: “I am saying thank you to the ocean for giving its beauty to me and I am returning the favour.” He smiled and said thank you and walked on. I realised in that moment that we do not have to be a speaker on a stage to inspire and motivate people, it is in our everyday interactions with people that we get to touch, move and inspire.

I started singing a song that just popped into my head, “I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find…..” in that song I got the lesson that living in love and kindness is taking and giving. I am always telling my kids to be loving and kind and today the ocean gave me an opportunity to display my love and kindness to it.

This was such a humbling experience. So I filled the bag and realised that there are lots more dirt on the beach and I need another bag or perhaps I can empty this one and use it again. I was getting hot and sticky now and thought maybe seeing the bag is full I can stop collecting dirt, but just then I spotted the bin at the top of the dune on the pavement. I dragged my now very heavy plastic bag, filled to the top with rubbish, up the dune. On reaching the bin I discovered it was empty, in it a big black plastic bag for all the dirt to go in. I removed the black bag from the bin and placed my plastic bag filled with rubbish in it.

So guess what, the Universe just gave me another plastic bag for all the rubbish left on the beach – so my lesson was not complete yet. Ok – I thought, back to collecting dirt then. And indeed there were lots more to collect. It felt as if the ocean was spitting out more and more dirt for me to collect and get the lessons I need to get. I walked and collected, still humming the song in my head. Dragging a heavy plastic bag was good exercise I thought, just like when I used to do physical training on the beach with heavy bags filled with sand. So now I was starting to enjoy the heavy bag – it was toning my body too.

There are so many benefits in this one act of kindness – I am so blessed to have received this today, I thought. I noticed a piece of crab shell and thought it looked like a sad face on it and took a picture of it on the black bag.

I thought this was the ocean saying “it is sad to see all the rubbish on the beach”. After picking up a few more pieces of rubbish the bag was now almost filled to capacity. I was nearing the walkway up to the pavement and decided to take the bag to the bin. I thought I learned so many valuable lessons today and it was probably time to go home and start working on my website.

I realised that telling this story would be another way to inspire and motivate people and at the same time add value to my website. How amazing that I received all this out of one act of kindness.

As I approached the walkway, which was a little steep and with a heavy plastic bag was not so easy to walk up, a man asked if he could help me with the bag. I smiled and felt really grateful, I was now sweaty and exhausted. He carried the bag to the bin and said he lives in Port Elizabeth on the East Coast of South Africa and was visiting a friend in Cape Town. He added that he was really happy to see people cleaning the beach here too as it is something a group of environmentalist he belongs to often does on their beach.

We started talking about various things and ended up in conversation for almost an hour. It was really great to meet another person who loves nature and appreciates the beauty like I do. He saw this sign on the beach asking people to clean up after their dogs and said he wish he had his camera to take a photo. He wants to put similar notices on the beach in Port Elizabeth as well. I offered to take a photo of it and email it to him.

Our conversation continued and he happened to mention a book I should read on finances, called “The Richest Man in Babylon” and added that he just got the impression that this is something I need to learn. This was indeed another blessing from the Universe, earlier I asked for help and guidance with my finances and here I was receiving it.

Walking back to my apartment I realised that wearing the new trainers was no accident either, I need to know that even when I am glamorous and speaking on stage I always need to keep my feet firmly on the ground. Never think too much of myself to do that which I so easily expect other people to do for me.

So I am humbled and again in awe of how the Universe just delivers when I ask and open myself up to the answers.
I am one with source and it is one with me, I am the master and the servant and in each state there are lessons to be learned.

The beach will see me every day with a plastic bag in my hand – just in the event that I walk pass some rubbish.
Thank you for reading my story and for visiting my website. I look forward sharing more of my lessons with you.

Have a beautiful day.
In love and light

Leila Benelli

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or more commonly known as ADHD is defined as follows by most resources:

“ADHD is a Disruptive Behavioral Disorder characterized by the presence of a set of chronic and impairing behavior patterns that display abnormal levels of inattention, hyperactivity, or their combination.”

from: 1994 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Ed. IV, (DSM-IV)

I describe ADHD as a lifelong condition children are born with which creates social problems for them. It is generally those children who behave or operate differently to the ‘expected social norm’ and those children who find it increasingly difficult to ‘fit in’ with the rest of their peer group, stick to routine and a set of rules or basic conformity.

Some other explanations include:

ADHD is not a result of bad parenting or poor environments, it is a hereditary brain disorder that interferes with the way a person processes information. If you or your spouse have ADHD, your child has a good chance of having it too.   Scientists identified two of the genes that may cause ADHD.  Dr. David Fassler reported before a recent meeting of the American Medical Society, “ADHD is a very active area of research. There is a clear genetic component. We are getting closer and closer to understanding the biological basis… Neuro-imaging suggests differences in brain structure.”

Thus when doctors use MRI brainscans  to watch brain activity, they discovered that ADHD children’s brains clearly function differently than those of children without ADHD.

by Ray Anne Cook (occupational therapist)

We all know that exercise is important. Most adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) use sport at some or other stage of their life to combat their ADHD behaviour. The best way to reduce ADHD behavioural symptoms is to get adequate physical exercise. This can mean playing with friends, doing a sport or aerobic exercises. Intense exercise increases the blood flow and also increases levels of endorphins (especially serotonin) and acetylcholine in the brain, both of which seem to alleviate the symptoms of ADHD.

HOW EXERCISE CAN HELP IMPROVE ADHD BEHAVIOUR

1. Lifts your mood. The endorphins that are released in the brain create a feeling of euphoria and can reduce the feelings of depression which most people with ADHD experience. Regular exercise will almost always uplift a child/teen that has a problem with ADHD behaviour. The exercise does not have to be gruelling, competitive or boring to be effective.

2. Improves self-esteem. The child will feel more confident when finally achieving results in sports. ADHD children are constantly in trouble for bad behaviour and often feel they are not good enough.

3. Reduces stress. Stress is reduced either by being relaxing or getting rid of pent up emotions. ADHD children are often experiencing stress as a result of their behaviour and the way it affects people around them.

4. Releases pent up energy. ADHD children need opportunities to release their energy. This is especially evident in the hyperactive or sensory seeking child. It in turn enables the child to settle down and approach work with greater ease.

5. Develops co-ordination. The exercise must provide just the right amount of challenge without being too difficult or too easy. ADHD children have plenty of energy; they need a challenge to achieve results.

6. Drains unwanted toxins. ADHD children often suffer from allergies. Exercise promotes the transfer of gases in the lungs by breathing in oxygen and exhaling pollutants. The immunity levels are heightened and white blood cells become more efficient in absorbing the pollutants. The muscles contract and squeeze out the unwanted by-products such as lactic acids and the skin’s pores open and release poisons.

7. It is a regulator. Deep pressure exercises like hugging or wrestling and heavy work like carrying books are both calming and organizing. Watching TV and playing computer games will not regulate your ADHD child the way movement and heavy work does.

8. Can be relaxing. When doing stretch exercises we tend to relax the body. However ADHD children often find relaxation exercises difficult to follow. Stretching games or sports are a good alternative to relax a child. These stretches can be incorporated in swimming, hanging upside down or reaching for things.
Working these few exercises into their daily routine will make a big difference to the ADHD child’s behaviour.

ADHD behaviour in children has received a great deal of attention with great research and proven methods which has been tried and tested by many parents and professionals. This article will give you tips on how to deal with the ADHD behaviour of your child in an effective manner that will restore some peace and calm in your home. The real challenge is to find the methods that work for your specific ADHD child, since there is no one method that works for all.

Here are a few techniques and tips to explore.

1. Understand the world from your ADHD child’s perspective. Engaging with your child about various events and how he responds to it is a good way of finding out how the world makes sense to him. Your ADHD child wants to feel in control and loves attention. Engage with him and give him the power to inform you of what makes sense in his world this will boost his self-esteem too.

2. Explain to your ADHD child why his behaviour is a problem in certain instances (be specific) and explain what ADHD is. It is vital that you make it clear that he has control over his ADHD behaviour and the methods that you are going to implement will assist him to stay in control. The moment he understands his ADHD behaviour he will be more aware of his state of mind and actually force himself to refocus after drifting off. You can give him great tools to help him deal with various behavioural problems such as excessive energy during school hours.

3. Learn to communicate with your ADHD child from his point of view.

4. Praise him frequently for doing good things around the house and in school work. When reprimanding is essential do it in such a way that you give him the choice of an alternative behaviour rather than making him wrong. For example: “Can you find another way of asking your brother to help you? Maybe if you give him a turn the game will be more exciting and you can see who scores the most points.” ADHD children love competition and love to win.

5. Make eye contact when speaking to your ADHD child. Explain visually and keep it short. Ask him to repeat what you have instructed to make sure he understands. Never give more than one task at a time.

When you implement any one of these techniques or more stay consistent for at least two weeks before deciding it works or not. The tips above deals mainly with how you can better address the ADHD behaviour of your child. Many other small changes can make a big difference. We will discuss those in our next article.