Living with my ADHD children
My name is Leila Benelli. I am a mother of four boys of whom the eldest has been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of six years old. It was during my search for more knowledge of the condition that I discovered that I too have ADHD. Instead of it being a curse it has been the biggest revelation for me. My life flashed before me and I suddenly realised how many times I made myself wrong for being the way I am.
The knowledge I gained opened my eyes to an understanding of myself and my son’s world. This enabled me to make better decisions, redirect his behaviour rather than punish him and help the family and teachers understand how we can all better cope with the behavioural problems associated with this condition. The biggest gain was the ability to give his self-esteem a boost and work on my own limiting beliefs.
Over the last five years we have tried various methods to combat the symptoms – from homeopathic remedies, occupational therapy, diet, nutrition, behaviour modification and medication. I realised that there was not just one single solution but that it was indeed a multi-disciplinary condition that needed to be approached as such. I also realised that every ADHD individual has specific problems and needs unique to that one person. The methods that worked for me did not always work for my son. Together as a team we learned what works best for him and what aggravates his moods and symptoms. This gave him the power to take control which boosted his self-esteem and confidence.
One major problem that we struggled with was his inability to touch softly. This according to the occupational therapist is a sensory problem many children and adults deal with. He needs more input to register that he actually touched the next person which then feels like a hard hit to the person on the receiving end. His siblings are normally the ones who feel the impact of this problem and it causes many arguments and fights in the home. He easily gets into trouble at school for the same reason. I explained to him why it happens and that he needs to stop before he touches someone and then remind him to touch softly.
Another aspect is his impulsivity. He talks out of turn and demands attention above his siblings. In the classroom he will speak out of turn or have inappropriate conversations which constantly get him into trouble.
There really is no magic bullet; no quick fix; medication alone is not the answer and neither are any of the other methods. What I found is that the more family members who are on board and supporting him the better he does. He needs lots of order; constructive discipline where he feels in control; a fixed routine; love; affection; reassurance and praise in order to thrive.
I recently discovered that my third son also show signs of ADHD and I am so grateful that this time around I am prepared. I am passionate to share this information with you and other parents who are struggling with their ADHD children.
I trust that you find benefit and solutions on this website that will assist you to make your parenting experience the pleasurable job it ought to be.
In love and light